You guys. In just a few more days it will be Easter, and it will be April. I am just baffled at how quickly this year is already passing. And maybe I am more attuned to how quickly time passes now that I have a child, but man. It’s crazy.
I mean, it literally feels like it was just Christmas – but now it’s going to be Easter. In 4 days. Winter is officially over, spring is trying like hell to gets its foot in the door, and my baby is on her way into full-on toddler-hood, terrible 2’s, and pushing every last one of mommy’s buttons. The first two parts of that sentence I am super thankful for, because…winter. No. But Lord help me, this toddler business is no joke. I mean, I’ve witnessed plenty of terrible-two (threenager, etc.) phases in my friends’ kids, but holy hell, when it’s your own – it’s hard. Like, some days you just want to curl up in a ball and disappear, hard.
Don’t get me wrong. I love and adore my baby girl like no other, and I know – I know – that this phase is just part of them growing, learning, asserting their independence and self-control, etc. But it still makes me crazy some days. I mean, doesn’t she know that mommy (and daddy) just wants to keep her safe, and do all the things that will help her thrive? Nope. She knows that she has some control and she’s going to use it by-golly. Even if it nearly kills her mama. She’s a smart one, my little Natalie Grace. At 19 months she’s already talking so well, she’s so super observant, and she understands so much. Yes, I’m gushing, and yes I’m proud of my girl. But seriously…we’re in trouble. Because she’s cute and she’s smart. Double trouble. She’s also the sweetest little cuddly bug, gives the bestest big hugs and – when she is so inclined – kisses. She melts my heart on the daily, and because of that I somehow survive the tiny tyrant days.
I’m still trying to figure out this work/life balance thing. That is also super hard. The short answer is that I need to wake my lazy arse up about 4:30 every morning. I could get so much done in that hour and a half before I actually need to start getting ready for the day. But, that also means I need to get myself in bed and to sleep earlier. And that is a challenge, because…long days mean I need to get stuff done – or watch TV – after Nat goes to bed. Priorities, ya know? Argh.
So, I keep saying that “this week” I’ll really, truly make an effort to start this new schedule that I’ve mapped out for myself. And so far, for the past 3 weeks, that hasn’t happened. Sometimes I just suck at life, y’all. Best of intentions and all that jazz, but…the follow through when I don’t “have to” is where I often fall short.
I mean, other people wake up early, so why can’t I just do it???
Maybe next week I can finally report back that I succeeded. I’ll take all your finger crossing, prayers, and wakey-wakey vibes that you want to throw my way. Here is the schedule I’d like to implement. And yes, I may be a little detailed in the timeline, but hey…that’s just how I roll.
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