Well, Hel-LOOO terrible twos!
I mean, I know I said in the 20-month post that we were in them, but SHEESH. My mom said she hoped my daughter would be payback for me as a teenager. Well, congrats, Mimi. The toddler may drive me mad before we ever get close to the teen years! Don’t get me wrong – I love my kid more than life itself – but I was not prepared for the wrath that is a toddler. She has me questioning every decision I’ve made as a parent up to this point. Did I hold her too much, give her all the things when I should have said no? Did I turn her into this tantrum-y, screeching, tyrano-toddler? Tiny tyrant? Or, as J and I have coined her…Bratalie. Good lawd, have mercy. She isn’t even two yet. If she does not get what she wants rightthissecond, no matter if you are walking to get said thing, she loses. her. mind. And it nearly makes me lose mine. WHY?!?
Yes, I know – logically – that it’s all part of this age. That they can’t communicate their feelings very well, so they melt down. But when you are in the throes of it. Every. Single. Day. It is exhausting. Yes, she is still sweet and cuddly and so stinkin’ smart, but those days when it seems to be one constant tantrum are HARD. Momming is hard, y’all.
But then just look at this face:
She is sweet and sassy, strong-willed, and very vocal when she is unhappy. And you know what? As hard as it is right now, I wouldn’t want her any other way. Because, hopefully those traits will stick with her. Because I don’t want her to take crap from anyone who may mistreat her in her life. I want her to know that it’s okay to stand up for herself. Not to ever be a bully or be an entitled brat, but to know her worth and to never settle for less than what she deserves. I want all the good things for her, and I want her to be strong and independent.
And my goodness does this little girl love her mama. I lovingly refer to her as a stage 5 clinger, because if I am present, she wants to “sit mama” or “walk” or “hold you” or any other thing that means she is touching, being held by, or sitting with me. I know it won’t always be like this, so I relish in every moment. She loves her daddy too, of course! But at this stage in life, she’s a mama’s girl through-and-through. His day is coming though. And regardless of who she favors in the moment, she has that man wrapped so tightly around her finger that he doesn’t even know what to do with himself some days. Ha. What baby girl wants, baby girl pretty much gets.
She does this very cute thing where she will tell me (or J), “go night night”, and she wants us to lay on our stomach on the floor and she will get a blanket and throw it over us, then sit on the floor next to us and “pat” us, like they do at daycare. Except her pat is more like a hard smack. She may not be two yet, but that kid hits hard! Even when she isn’t trying to hit.
Oh, and the hitting is a whole other toddler-stage of hell. I’m hoping the week of incident reports for hitting her friends was just a short phase as a result of mommy being gone for a full week at a work conference. It was rough. J and I felt terrible that she was being the mean kid, but helpless to do anything about it. We’ve been a week free of any hitting, and fingers crossed it continues this way. A bully, I will not have.
So, that’s where we’re at at 22 months. Tantrums, hitting, and utter and absolute adorableness. As she is growing and learning, so am I. I am learning how to simultaneously feel total love and adoration, as well as complete frustration and loss of patience. And how to keep my cool, take a deep breath, and love her through it. She is, after all, just a baby still. Maybe a toddler, but my baby who is learning how to navigate her little life and all the feelings that come with it.
I can’t wait to see what the coming months bring!!