The last few weeks have flown by. I had my bacherlorette party, then my annual work conference, then took a road trip to Florida with one of my besties. At work I interviewed temps to come in and handle some of my workload while I’m gone for 2 1/2 weeks, and then began training that temp. All of these things were back-to-back weeks/weekends which took up the majority of May.
And now, as we sit 13 days away from the wedding, I’m doing everything in my power not to lose my marbles from anxiety. Not that I’m anxious about getting married, I couldn’t be more excited about that. But I’m a bit of a control freak when it comes to my own life. I’m a planner. An obsessive planner, some might say. And the idea that I am going to have to relinquish control on the wedding day, gives me serious anxiety. I know that the family members stepping in to help are more than capable and I’m very grateful, but it’s just my nature to want to have my hands on every aspect and be there to ensure that every last detail is perfect. And I can’t be. I have to be off doing bride-y things like hair and makeup, and then can’t let J see me until ceremony time. Which means once I leave my hotel room the morning of the wedding, I won’t be able to see the venue until I arrive for the wedding.
Add to that the immense amount of rain we have been getting lately…like, for the last month…and the fear that it could be raining on my supposed-to-be-an-outdoor-wedding day, and it just makes my head hurt.
Are any of these things that actually warrant worry? No. And logically I know this. All that really matters on that day is that I get to marry my best friend. And come rain or shine; if the cake gets knocked onto the floor; if dj equipment malfunctions; or any number of other possible things go wrong, it really doesn’t matter, so long as we stand up there and say our vows. Yet I worry anyway. I stress, I panic inside, and I write out lists and call for help from my parents. Deep down I know that all will be juuust fine. We’re bound to see some sort of hiccup, that’s almost inevitable, but in the grand scheme of things, everything is going to be wonderful and amazing and perfect. I just have to survive the 13 days leading up to it. Ha!
13 days and counting down…to the most amazing day of my life thus far. And as amazing as it will be…it will only be the beginning.
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